For years, I believed being a giver was my greatest strength. And in many ways, it is. But there’s a fine line between giving from a place of love and giving to feel worthy of love. That line blurred for me, as it does for so many others.
I tied my worth to how much I gave. I believed my value came from ensuring everyone else’s happiness before my own. It felt shameful to receive. It was as though I had to “earn” love by overgiving, overdelivering, and overextending myself.
At first, I didn’t notice the cost. But my body did.
- Chronic neck pain that felt like a weight I couldn’t lift.
- Migraines that left me drained and overwhelmed.
- A constant tension in my shoulders and chest, as if I was carrying a burden I didn’t know how to put down.
I didn’t realize it then, but my body was speaking to me. These weren’t just physical symptoms; they were manifestations of emotional overload, suppressed feelings, and a nervous system stuck in overdrive.
This is the price of overgiving.
How Overgiving Lives in the Body
When we prioritize others’ needs above our own, we teach our bodies that our own boundaries don’t matter. This creates a cycle of tension and stress that becomes ingrained in our nervous systems.
Our bodies don’t just forget these experiences. Over time, this pattern can manifest as:
- Chronic pain (like neck or back pain) from carrying the “weight” of over-responsibility.
- Migraines or headaches from emotional overwhelm.
- Fatigue from constantly running on empty.
- Feelings of resentment or burnout, even though we’re afraid to admit it.
The Beliefs Behind People-Pleasing
Overgiving often comes from deep-rooted beliefs, like:
- “If I don’t give, I won’t be loved.”
- “My value comes from making others happy.”
- “It’s selfish to put myself first.”
These beliefs don’t just exist in the mind; they’re deeply embedded in the body. Every “yes” when you wanted to say “no,” every boundary you didn’t set, every time you gave more than you could it leaves an imprint.
Healing Through Somatic Awareness
When I discovered somatic healing, I began to understand the connection between my emotions, my beliefs, and my body. I started listening to what my body was trying to tell me, and it changed everything.
Here’s what I learned:
- Notice the Signs: Start by tuning into your body. Where do you feel tension or discomfort when you’re about to overgive? For me, it was my neck, shoulders, and a knot in my stomach.
- Feel to Heal: Allow yourself to acknowledge the emotions behind your overgiving. Is it fear of rejection? Guilt? A desire to be seen or appreciated? Naming these feelings is the first step toward releasing them.
- Practice Receiving: Receiving doesn’t come naturally to many of us, especially if we’ve spent years giving to feel worthy. Start small let someone help you with a task, accept a compliment without deflecting, or simply pause and take a breath when you’re tempted to overextend.
- Set Boundaries with Compassion: Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges to healthier relationships. Learn to say “no” with love both for yourself and for others.
A New Way Forward
Today, I’ve learned to give from a place of love, not obligation. I’ve learned to honor my needs without guilt. And most importantly, I’ve learned that receiving is just as important as giving.
Somatic healing has shown me how to reconnect with my body, release the patterns of overgiving, and create a life that feels balanced and authentic. It’s not about perfection; it’s about presence. It’s about showing up for yourself as much as you show up for others.
Reflection for You:
- Where in your life are you overgiving?
- How does your body respond when you’re giving too much?
- What’s one small way you can begin to receive more today?
If this resonates with you, if you feel like you’ve been carrying these patterns for so long, and if you’re ready to explore your own capacity for healing, I invite you to take the first step.
💌 Apply here: https://forms.gle/MzbYdwEU9dNZMeyf7
Let’s explore how somatic healing can help you reconnect with your body, release old patterns, and move forward in alignment with your true self.
